Wow,

This comes at a really good time. This will be my last post. I really don't have much to say anymore. I don't have much to say because I have so much to do. I finally put ALL fears aside and started investing into my passion...my future with spiritual counseling. I want to make a living doing something that I am good at, something that will allow me to help others.

Spiritual Counseling is it. I found my way, now I want to help others find theirs. I am starting school for it, as well as completing my MBA in Healthcare Management. So going to 2 schools, being a wife, and mother is enough. I won't have time to do blogging. Now mind you I have another website dedicated to natural hair. I believe I will keep that going because that's all about helping other black women take care of their outer appearance.

I do hope you all take good care of yourselves, that you realize your hopes, your dreams. That you never let anything or anyone stop you. It took me at least 7 years to muster up the courage to follow my dreams. To push aside naysayers, people's opinions or views. It took me 7 years to put it all into perspective. It took me 7 years to truly find my place in the world. To figure out my meaning of existence, to become at peace with what the Universe has for me in its plans.

I'm happy...and I wish you all the same kind of happiness and more!

I love you all!

P.S. Please look me up when you need some spiritual counseling, oh but give me at least till the end of the year!

Namaste'
Tosh

I went to celebrate Cinco De Mayo with some chica's from work. I don't know why I went because I ain't Hispanic and I sho'll don't even know all of the history behind the holiday. Still I don't need a reason to get out of the house sans the hubby, chillens, and dog to drink. It could have been a freaking Star Wars convention and I would have ran my happy ass out complete with a Princess Leah costume on. Shiit... I didn't give a good hoot who was going all I know is I was gonna go somewhere and hang out.

The dilemma was this; I wanted to go and hang out and get inebriated, but in my heart I really wanted to meditate, or do some yoga. Strange huh? What in the hell has come over me?

I mean I was thinking deeply about it all the way to the strip. I have been increasing my search on Naturopathy. I would love to get in that but of course they don't have a school out here for it. I don't give a flying .... that traditional medical environment thinks that ND's are Quacks. So what? I think there is a need. Just like there is a need for chemical medicine. However, I think there is a need for the natural medicine for preventative. I know that if we take care of our bodies with what God gives us, then there won't be much of a need to go see the doctor.

Anyway, I don't think I will be celebrating Cinco De Mayo again... please, it ain't my holiday. Enough jibber jabber from my bipolar ass. Ranting and raving about stuff...

Can you tell that I am distracted? Well I am and usually I try and stop acting all spaced out and shit. I try to pull myself back in to become this really sensible, swami, fortune teller, centered, mid thirties chick. Well today I am totally spaced the fuck out and I don't care.

I am not going to try and be something I'm not, and I really don't care who says what about it. Over the weekend I exhausted myself by doing for others. My friend her kids, my kids, the dog, the house. Everyone got something out of me except for me. Damn where was my weekend? Where was my time? I have really got to do something about this.

So I am coming up with a plan...although my hubby and I are trying to save for a house, I am going to take a trip this summer. Fuck it, a good one too. Sans kids, and hubby. I want to go and visit a dear friend in New York. Now mind you I have been to New York before, but thats when i was a fag hag. Please dont bombard me with hate mail because I said Fag hag...know the definition before you become all self righteous and shit. Anyway, the trip was, well it was eventful. But trust me now that my homegirl lives out there it is going to be freaking AWESOME! I am going to play as if I am some uber eclectic, hip, city chic ( I like the word uber so sue me) when I am really a hippy, suburban mom.

Whatever I am going to go to New York and have a good time. I have to, for my sanity. I really love my life, but sometimes you just have to let loose and do things by your damn self you know?

I know this post makes no sense, but oh well, thats the way it goes...its Monday, and again I'm distracted.

No really I am sick and I look like a hot damn mess to prove it. Don't laugh as this could be yo azz...all sick with God know's what. Could be the Bird Flu, Swine Flu, Puppy Flu, or Turtle Flu...hell I don't know I just know I feel like crapola (remember I make up words so sue me). Anyhow, this is how I act when I'm not feeling well. I hardly speak, I am uber rude, and cranky. Took a hot bath, blah. Drank some vodka & grapfruit splash diet drink, yuck. Tried to read....distracted. So the only thing that can keep me somewhat calm is yes you guessed it, writing! Now I'm so over that.

Again, I don't know what the hell I've got but I'm pretty sure its because of Travis Barker...you rememer him right? Uber cute Puggle puppy who stole my heart and stomped all over it once I found out how hard it is to raise said puppy. Here is the culprit below:


Yea he's cute, but tell me how cute he is at 2 a.m. in the morning when you gotta get up at 5 a.m. Not so cute huh? Whats that? He's still cute? Well send me your info so I can ship him to ya! Nah I'm just joking. I love Travis Barker, but still I blame him for this congested wierd, sinusy, oozy, infection feeling I'm experiencing. Its not fun, nor is it cute...check out below:

Yes, I look like a stunt double for The Color Purple, but don't laugh again this can be you if sickness settles in. Anyway back to the complaining...I don't feel well, and I still have to drag ass back to the office in the morning. Hell anyway you look at it, I need a check.

So, I guess I'm done complaining...I have to lie down and sleep? Or try to sleep and pretend to be really zonked out so that my husband will get up and take out the dog. Shutup, yes, I'm married looking like the above! HA hahahahahhaaaa